This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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