i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
