stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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