you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
