Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
