Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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