shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
