i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
