How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
