I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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