I don't usually arrange sex via text message
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My ass is underappreciated
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
