you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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