i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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