I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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