hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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