you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
