Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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