i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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