If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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