oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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