ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We are two peas in an std pod
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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