You really coming over, don't trick.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
