lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
