Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
