Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
sarcasm needs its own font
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
