yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
