this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
