So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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