I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
