I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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