Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
