the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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