Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
