I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
that is very illegal...i love you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
