I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
