better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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