im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
