Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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