yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Your cock deserves a montage
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
