yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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