Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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