I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
