Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
