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wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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