so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
