omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
