last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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