I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
false alarm, still single
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
