Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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