One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
